Tuesday :: Something I Would Change

I think one of the things I would change would be the educational system in America. I like the way the Europeans do it where you have 7 years to get your undergraduate courses completed for free from the government. Only if you do not get a degree do you have to pay. Why can't it just be that way? It bothers me to see my friends piling up in debt just in order to get a piece of paper that shows their educational endeavors. Tuition is ridiculous. That's all.

Dandelions

I love dandelions!
There is just something amazing to me about these multi-pored flower/weeds. I never liked blowing them to make wishes, but i did love to blow the seeds off of them knowing more would come the next season! I think my dad used to wonder where they all came from, but I confess...it was me! They were my favorite, how could I resist? I would view it as a challange to pick the few he would miss before he took weed killer to them and 'set them free' into the air. When you blew them into the air, their umbrella like seeds would float until resting upon their new homes in our backyard. The softness to touch and springy exterior was astonishing.

I miss dandelions in Arizona. And petting cacti just isn't the same as my friend taught me when she ran her hands into one once. Why doesn't Arizona have a dandelion equivalent? Maybe people would be happier and nicer to each other then! Why can't the world learn from Texas? :)

Please Tell Me I'm Crazy...

I met the love of my life today...but it costs forty-nine dollars!
Look how beautiful! I went to Barnes and Nobel today, because my old journal only has two pages left. It's only had two pages left for the past few days because I don't want to finish it until I have a new one! So today I went to go look. In most cases, I am intimidated by new jounrals...this is the first time I have ever finished one and it took me two years to do so! So it's a big commitment for me. I want one I'll love looking at and will be easy to close and write in. I don't want it having dark lines so I can't occasionally draw, but no lines with my handwriting is not a good match either! The large journals with 500+ pages are just so huge and would be a decade commitment for me! But this beauty is perfect! it's the same size as my Bible so it fits good in hand. It has greek imprinted so it reminds me of the new testament. The clasp is amazing and isn't an annoying wrap around that comes undone, but closes oh so nicely. It is a smooth leather so nice to the touch, not a rough leather that is scratchy and turns one away from journaling. It is inviting...it wants me!

So please tell me I'm crazy and shouldn't spend 50 bucks I don't have on this journal. I stood in there for 40 minuates and after looking at the price on this one, I couldn't find another journal I was willing to commit to.

...journals intimidate me!

Friday :: Something I Look Forward To

Oops..I'm 15 min past Friday! I realize I am looking forward to Christmas! The lights and lit candles dancing around the room in merriment as families sit down to share a meal together. It's a lovely image. My sister Diana is coming home for a whole week too and I can't wait to catch up with her! One of the greatest parts about Christmas is no school! It's a chance for me to clear my head, pray for next year, and even earn next month's rent by working for Santa! One of my joys is always meeting up with a few heart friends and visiting Marcus HS to see Herbst.

I love working for Santa too...gotta love the stuff kids come up with to ask him. My favorite this year is a boy named Dominic who was asking me to get the inside scoop from Santa on how he could grow up to be Buddy the Elf....not be like..but he wanted to grow up to BE an Elf! Even after passing out in the mall today, he was released from the hospital and went back to work 4 hours later...now that's dedication from Santa!

And then I can't forget Portuguese Black Death! Christmas Eve we always go over to my Aunt Angie's and Uncle Al's place for the meal. My Aunt Angie is an amazing cook! Truly! SO she makes typically 7-8 desserts for 12 people! One of these desserts could feed us all easily! SO we each die just a little sampling a piece of each. But it is an amazing tradition. Then my dad comes home and watches Scrooge...a different version every year.

Bring on the Merriment! You can keep your egg nog, but leave the rum cake and portugese friojsh. Bring on the family! Bring on the Scrooge! Just leave the Bah-Humbug behind! And if even for a day, find joy in even the red and green combination! :)

Thursday :: Something I Miss

The Puppy!

It is nice to be at home knowing if you drop that piece of food on the ground, Vegas will be right there to pick it up. Don't want to turn on the heater to save some money? Summon Vegas over to sit on your feet and warm them! She'll even sit there and shake...we'll, until something shiny distracts her at least!

So puppy, don't feel lonely! I'll be back in January!

Don't give Kim too much trouble! ;)

Wednesday :: Something I Dislike

Segueing from yesterday, I also cannot stand Christian bumper stickers! I do not put one on my car because I know I do not always drive in a manner worthy of displaying Christ's love. I even find myself saying, 'ah, those Christians!' as a mom with a fish on her minivan cuts me off! There are maybe only two people I have met who I approve of them displaying them on their car...but overall I feel they do more bad than good! So no more Christian bumper stickers in production would be ok with me! And if you have some, maybe put them on a nalgene instead of a car!

So no white minivan, I will not wish I had Jesus stickers, I'd rather share through good actions and not the occasional sinful driving. Thank you.

Tuesday :: Something I Would Change

The first and foremost thing I would change would be the Arizona Driving test! It must not be too complex or of much quality seeing the type of people who drive on the Arizona highways everyday!

It's kinda like having a bunch of monkeys driving on the roads! I mean, do you really need to cut across five lanes of traffic just to pass one guy as you realize your exit is in two miles?

Turn off your cell phone! Turn off your blinker that's been on for the past 537 minutes! Maybe turn your blinker on when you are changing lanes! Just maybe?!?

Get a new license system so 65 year-olds don't have the same picture as when they were 16. Just gain some common sense and courtesy! If I think you are a bad driver..you probably are, so get off the road already!

Monday :: Something I Like

There is nothing I really enjoy more than sitting by a lake, campfire, or with friends in the middle of nowhere worshiping God. I wish I could play guitar at all or sing better, but I absolutely love random worship times with friends. I remember once a couple of years ago, the ASU Navs went to the 24 hour praying event at ASU and some of us ended up singing praise for almost three hours! I remember at a Pine Cove No Agenda retreat, Kayla and I sat on a fence post for a while singing "You Said" over and over again. Jason, Katy, and whoever else was lucky to be sitting in the back of a truck with us would bust out in song on numerous occasions freshman year.

There is just something about the body of Christ coming together to sing his praise. Even in Holland at the retreat in Belgium or the car rides with my team in New Zealand coming home to Palmy from Wellington...I'll always remember singing "never let go" as the lightning bolt struck while thinking of God's power silenced us all.

selah

Texas has a lot of football fields

Starting tomorrow...I'm stealing my friend Gabe's idea for blogging. Though my reasons aren't the same as his, I appreciate the thought to force myself to blog daily for at least a week. It;s good for me to just get my thoughts out there and so on...so starting tomorrow, here's what I'm blogging.

* Monday is something I like (mostly just to get in a good mood for the week)
* Tuesday is something I would change (because after Monday there’s always something I would change)
* Wednesday is something I don’t like
* Thursday is something I miss
* And Friday is something I’m looking forward to


Today; however, I've been thinking about Hebrews 11. It is one of my favorite chapters in the Bible as the first verse states, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." I like that thought...that even though I may have no idea where God is leading in life, I can trust in him by faith that He will see me through. The chapter then goes on talking about the Biblical celebs and discussing how they "by faith" overcame great trials.

I was talking about love with a good friend over lunch and how she felt she can't fall in love ever. We also discussed love being an action instead of a series of words. I was thinking about this passage though, what if instead of putting "by faith," it read, "by love." These people displayed their love for God through their obedience to God. No matter how scary or how much opposition they faced. Thinking about this passage through a lens of love encourages me as I seriously consider future options. I'm 80% in one direction and this is as a result of what I've seen God do so far and trying to figure out how I can best glorify him.

Friends, PLEASE

By love push through this economic crisis.
By love, live a life above reproach.
By love, spread the good news through your life and (when necessary) with words.
By love, pursue Christ first, no matter what others say or do.
By love, reach up and out.
By love, live.

wanderings

i like to wander.

When I think about life, be it pas, present, or future, i wander. I could drive for hours just singing along to my radio and processing life. Be it that I'm broke and gasoline costs something foreign to me at the moment referred to as money, I went to walmart the other night just to wander.

There is something peaceful to me about people watching...maybe that's creepy. But i like to make up stories about people based on their purchases or attitudes. It's fun to watch two teenagers play Bon Jovi's "wanted" song on rock band caring less who all is standing around watching. I enjoy the smiley sticker as I enter the store. I always wonder if the lady in the fabric department does much of anything after 8pm and if she really enjoyed her job. I watched the loneliness in the night stalker's eyes as he dropped the frozen chicken onto the floor. I felt for the couple in the checkout line in front of me as they had their newborn with them. I can't imagine being in the financial situation where the only time you can go shopping is at 11 at night and you can't leave your newborn at home.

i like to wander.

things that make me smile...

Proof of God's Presence

I made a new friend at a lake the other day...

...I call him Howard.

stagnant movement

ik fint
ik hop
ik ga
ik loop
ik ben

the basics are what spiral around
starting over
empty canvas

start from scratch
relearn to function
do not pass go

ik fint
ik hop
ik ga
ik loop
ik ben

the brain tells the hand to move
the wind shifts direction
voltage forces movement

forgotten how to move
only the volt can know
back to basics

ik fint
ik hop
ik ga
ik loop
ik ben

a waste of printing ink and air time

do you know why I'm glad this election is almost over? propaganda.

I can't stand the political bashing on commercials or the surplus of signs on a street corner. Does David really need 6 signs within 2 inches of each other saying he is running for AZ senate? I'm done...my vote is in....vote how you will, I'm not gonna tell you how to vote. I'm not even going to tell you how I voted! Let's get it over with!

I Am Not Ashamed

>God gave us His Son,
The sinless One to be sin for us

That we might be the righteousness of God.

Your Kingdom has come, we’re being changed into Your likeness

Children of light, it’s our time to arise

I am not ashamed, I know whom I’ve believed

For God Himself has come to me,

Now Jesus is my destiny.

I know I am changed and all You’ve given me,

This hope, this love, this life,

I can’t deny Your power within me

So here I am,

Send me.

Verse 2:

Now we are in You and you have given us Your message:

To tell the world be reconciled to God.

Your favour is here in this day of salvation,

Now is the time, let Your glory arise!

Bridge:

Purify us, Lord

So we’re spotless and pure

As we hold our Your Word

To this generation.

How can they hear,

How can they believe,

How can they call on Your name

Unless we tell them? (2x)

donuts

Why are spare tires referred to as donuts anyway? Is it because with donuts you are not able to go as fast? Or that although not a healthy meal, donuts get the job done?

Anyways, my day is filled with one donut. There is a large screw lodged into the side of my rear tire. I had to change to me spare donut and go t Discount Tire so they could order me a new one. These are to make my dad proud.

(you can see the screw on the bottom of the tire
in the trunk photo on the right)

Thus, the shiny object distracted snail gets blocked by a cyber stick that transports him through a wormhole and thus he is unable to move the centimeter he was supposed to today. The week drags on.

life...for sale as is

I feel like the week of midterms runs by so quickly, the following week feels as if it must move as a snail distracted by a shiny object just to make up for it. My co-worker and I thought it was Wednesday all day at work today...wishful thinking i suppose.

I was reading Ecc. 9:10 today that reads, "whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might..." I'm working two jobs currently on top of school and my ministry with the Navigators. I started off making $7/ hour at one job with no responsibility and after 3 weeks got a $1.50/hr raise! I started my other job making $9/hr and yesterday got a raise to $13 an hour and a higher position. I thank God that whatever job I have i tend to advance quickly. I'm a hard worker...my parents trained me well is what my bosses always say. I enjoy doing my work well.

These two women, one from Texas, the other from Hawaii but both vacationing in AZ, came into the Halloween store today. They both were very amiable and offered me numerous job options they thought i would be successful at due to my personality. It was cute. I don't know them, but they encouraged me to do well in my classwork and to move to either Texas or Hawaii after graduation.

And thus, monday is almost over...bring on the weekend!

friends

With my friends, i tend to categorize different songs or colors or dance moves to them in my head...so as I was thinking about that tonight, i thought I'd list a few...

• Diana (sis) - She's a Rainbow- Rolling Stones (also anything from MXPX, slowly going the way of the buffalo)
  
• Brent- Honey- Moby
• Ariel- For these moments I feel faint- Relient K (also Oops I did it Again- Brittany Spears)
  
• Alexa- Engage- Pax 217
• Alissa- Paralyzer- Finger 11
• Katy- For Good- Wicked (also Forever by Papa Roach and any country song ever basically)
  
• Ms. Escalante- We didn't start the fire- Billy Joel
• Marcel- Bad Day- Daniel Powder
• Janeen- Phil Collins- the song with the gorilla on the drums ;)
  
• Jean- Doom song- gir
• Kayla- you said- shane and shane
• Immanuel- Texican Style- Los Lonely Boys
• Dad- Copenhagen- Robert Earl Keen
• Billy- You're So Vain- Carly Simon
• Peggy- vamos a la playa
• Boo Boo- Lo -Flo Rida (also the techno song sandstorm)
  
• Sarah S.- the way you move- outkast
• Mariam- geek in pink- Jason Mraz
• Brad- "doctor, doctor i've got an emergency..."
• Sarah B.- Newsies
• Laura- Suckerpunch- Five iron Frenzy (also, raindrops keep fallin' on my head)
• Mom- wouldn't it be lovely- My Fair Lady
• Andra- Ms. Jackson-
  
• Andrea- the office theme song
• Amber- Let's pretend we live in Antartica- Of Montreal
• Christa- Satan is my Motor- Cake
• Nurge- Places you have come to fear the most- Dashboard
• Sonia- Sunrise, Sunset- Fiddler on the Roof
• Diana A. - ghetto- from Hardball
  
• Joran- All Star- Smashmouth
• James- Crash- Dave Matthews Band
• Lauren M.- gold digger- Kayne West
• Bethany- Extreme Days- Toby Mac
• Jeremiah- she will be loved- maroon 5
  
• Jordan- You gove love a bad name- Bon Jovi
  
• Emily C. - Barracuda
• Alissa- School's Out- Alice Cooper
• Josh B.- Sweet Child O Mine- Guns and Roses
• Josh M.- Beverly Hills- Weezer
• Amy- Honky Tonk Badonkadonk
• all my NZed friends- I am not ashamed
• Krystal- That's How you Know- Enchanted soundtrack
  

I know there are people and songs I am forgetting...but it's bedtime! Are there any songs you think of when you think of me?

is there such a thing as a cursed blessing?

As much as I would like to erase parts of my memory, I cannot. Sometimes I cherish my photographic memory, especially in times of testing or photography. Other times I wish I were blind.

I still remember introducing the two. A bond formed so quickly the answer to who came up with the idea alludes all of us in the story. I had a best friend and a new friend I thought would fit in perfectly. They fit great as new best friends; my old inside jokes and memories just were not enough anymore. I was ditched and these two girls explored a new territory I was unwilling to go to. One introduced the other to new friends of cigarettes and tequila. In return, those friends introduced her to Heroin and Ex.

I would be more involved in work and keeping up with the friends she turned away from, instead of biking across town to her house anymore. After the incident, I would find myself driving past her house on my way home from work praying as I passed and thanking God I had enough gasoline in my truck to make it home most nights.

I still remember her face thinned more with drugs than age had ever done before. Her fingers wavered ever so slightly as her yellowish nails struck the lighter to ignite the flame. She offered both explanations and apologies for her betrayal of my friendship and trust, and like a pressured customer at Walmart I bought the blue light sale item as soon as I recognized the deal. When I was driving home, I remember thinking if I should keep the purchase or return the as-is item for something else. I kept it. And along with it I kept the trust I thought I could give to another best friend for a very long time. No matter how much we both wanted things to go back to how they were, she didn't want to leave behind her new friends. And I knew with my whole heart I could not accept them. It would be 2 years before God blessed me with amazing friends I felt I could trust. I still cherish them so incredably much.

You only get out of something what you put in I've realized. If I put in no trust, how can I expect any in return. But to be lied to and betrayed was a feeling I had to deal with between the painted blue nails and those yellowed ungroomed ones.

She left the drugs and years later we are now in communication again. I suppose tonight, I just had a snipit of my photographic memory come back, and I'm wondering why. Where do I go from here?

pondering

NAV ATTACK in New Zealand before glowworms

NAV ATTACK in Arizona on camping trip

...some things are universal! :)

Alicia doesn't believe it is fall unless there are actual trees with leaves that change color around. if i see one more green palm tree...

I feel gypped by fall in Arizona. Where are the leaves to be crunched?!?

It is technically autumn, but there is no trace of it in the 100 degree heat and eye-glaring sun. I miss having seasons. Where's the fun in knowing everyday is going to be bright and sunny and when you get to school your back will be filled with sweat from biking. It's gross I know! Maybe I keep sleeping through my alarm because for even just a moment more I'd rather stay in the cool house dreaming about the fall days I remember from my youth. How do kids her have any creativity without leaves or ice to play in? There are somethings I'll never understand. Here's to my last year (hopefully) living without an actual fall.