HOME

So i'm starting to miss the idea of home...

Garden State has so many thoughts on the subject it really strikes close to my heart. I am starting to realize that i am here in Holland as well as the fact i will never have a home anymore. yes, i will live places and will be with my parents in Texas again but the ideal view of 'home' is something i can never again experience. my chance is up.

I'm starting to miss cbc and it's cool world within itself. i miss mexico, year end parties, and just having the ability to hang out at all times and places. I think i'm slightly scared about entering into this whole new world. i know i'll be fine, get an education, and make friends but i kinda just want to hold on to the ones i've already invested so much in and stay in my comfortable vortex. I'm torn in two ways..maybe more as i do enjoy it so much here in Holland and yet i don't want to become too involved because i too am leaving soon. That's the challange, raising leaders to continue once your gone. it is easy to start stuff here but the problem is finding people willing enough to follow something God has placed on their heart. I still can't shake the idea that i am done with marcus. when i get my yearbook maybe i will truly realize it. i'm done with cbc...i'm done with mid-school ministry. this time next year i will be in arizona adapting to a new lifestyle and place. A place of which i have never imagined myself going ever before. Before i left i thought Alabama or UNT. but never arizona. maybe that is what is so cool about God. He knows everything. he knew a LONG time ago that i will be going to Arizona. He knew i would be having these feelings and typing this now. God is above time. He knows and is all. I guess it just never gets old to hear about how awesome He is.