30 April 2010


Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies,
I keep your precepts with all my heart.
Psalm 119:69

Have you ever thought about how disgusting it is for something to be smeared? I was at CVS with Rachel last month making the bookmarks for Women of the Word and there was a kodak picture screen that bothered me. There was a video on a loop of a kid with the messy remnants of a PB & J on his face. He stares out from the screen, and then proceeds to smear his nasty peanut butter and jelly filled cheek across the screen. It was gross. I didn't want to look anymore!
Why can't we view lies that way? It is the arrogant who smear with lies...humans and Satan and ourselves included! But for some reason, we accept the filth as something we deserve or a part of who we are. I want all of my heart to be able to keep his precepts. Ps. 73:26 says, "...God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." He is my portion! Set aside specifically for me! How cool is that! We don't receive leftovers, but all the goods! Selah.

Smeared messes can be hard to clean up alone! Thank God for community! Do you realize just how much we as humans and sinners NEED one another?!?

29 April 2010

The Pause Button Seems to be broken...

I feel like life is rushing by my face so quickly I can't even enjoy the gentle breeze, but it tends to take my breathe away. In about 21 days I leave Long Beach to begin fundraising in Arizona and Texas and then head off 3 weeks later for a summer missions trip. What happened to the Spring?

In a Mexican film I watched recently, at the end of the hour and a half, the film had one of those flashbacks to go over different dialogues and images you may have forgotten in the two hour stint, and yet all it really does is leave you feeling robbed knowing the end is coming sooner than expected and robbed a good 5 minutes is spent going over the things you already moved on from. But there is an importance to looking back. My dad used to say we can view our lives as the car windshield. We need to look ahead and know where we are, but the rear-view mirror is in place so that we won't forget where we are coming from and so nothing can sneak up on us from behind. But we also cannot put all our our attention in that rear-view mirror. If we were supposed to, don't you think the car manufacturer would have made it proportionally larger? 21 days left on campus of the semester and 6 of them are spent away in Training and Development.

It's time for me to start looking back and remembering what God has brought me through this year, but the time to look ahead is upon as well...I need wisdom for the balancing act of these last few weeks! Can I just push pause a second and catch me breath? My head moves too quickly for me to write all my thoughts...

21 April 2010


I love my roommate Alissa! Just yet another reason why God is so good in providing me with this job!

12 April 2010

Thin, but Not Paper Thin.

Sometimes it's funny to me how I do things the way my parents do just because it's what I know! I was thinking about this today as I ordered my turkey lunch meat from Albertson's.

"How'd you like it sliced?" The women asked.

"Thin, but not paper thin, please." I replied.

This is how my Mom always ordered our lunch meat! I say it out of habit now!

I was thinking and reflecting a lot about family today. I decided a couple of weeks ago to try making the Pan Dulce Conchas...(a form of Mexican sweet bread.) When I was young, we used to call then 'pink bread' since we never could remember their real name! I think my Abuelita just accepted that. As I was picking up evaporated milk from the store, I called my Dad and he told me my great aunt had passed away. She was his youngest Tia on my Grandpa's side and I heard more about her than actually knew her due to an over 50 year grudge held on that side of the family. But still...another family member, holder of our family's story is now gone.

Alissa and I went to the movies tonight to go see Letters from God. It is a Christian film so it's a little cheesy, but wow...what a good film. We were the only ones in the theater and were glad so as it brought us to tears. I don't know the exact reason why Alissa's heart was outpouring that way, but I know why mine was...God is so good! God is so good and there are still families and people that get that and are coming to know truth despite what horrible situations they are in. People chose God over the world and over the lies and over death...not to make it all go away, but to come alongside in the midst. I'm so grateful for a family that can rejoice over pain because we have hope. We have hope to be entering a place where "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away (Rev. 21:4)."

God, you are sweeter than pan dulce! Sweeter than sweet bread. You ARE the sweet bread! Selah.

07 April 2010

broken harp

A dear friend of mine asked me the other day if I ever thought David threw his harp (out of frustration.) I laughed at first, and then I wondered, David was called a 'man after God's own heart' and yet he so openly laid his heart out before God with everything frustrating him in it. Psalm 119:116 says, "Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed."

Do not let my hopes be dashed! As I think about this past week overflowing with so many challenges and moves my friends are in, I ask LORD that you not let their hopes be dashed! Show your faithfulness that I know is there and comfort them in these times of hardship and singleness and transition. Sustain life and let us all live life to the full with a hope fulfilled! Oh LORD, hear my plea on behalf of my sisters. Be dash-less to them!

05 April 2010

Streams in the Desert

I was laughing to myself driving into the Arizona desert...when did the desert become a place of rest and refreshment for me?
Oh the irony!
So many times in the Bible we see the desert as a place of temptation or preparation for some other big thing God has in store for the lives of the individual. That's exactly what God used the desert for in my life! It was a time to cling close to God and battle core lies in order that God could better prepare me for where He is leading my life.

Isaiah 58:11 "The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail."

It was fun to be able to celebrate our Father, Savior, and Counselor together with dear brothers and sisters back in Arizona for the weekend. But we don't get to stay in the desert...time to find a new home and get back to work! Blessed be the name of the Lord!