30 May 2009

movin' to Tejas y'all...

I thought to keep myself entertained as i head back to Texas, I'd share my journey with you guys!
It all started when I got back from the Navigators Summer Mission Program at Spirit West Coast on Tues...
It was a sad sight to see empty condos!
After 3 hard days the room was finally cleaned out!

I think the puppy was really sad to see me go!

She wanted to come to Texas, the happy heart state, with me!

But Tom Tom and I headed out alone...

We went through a 2 hour lightning storm! How cool to see God work as I was driving.

New Mexico...land of enchantment....I still don't buy it.

Getting closer to home!

It's starting to get dark...

I felt like reaching 85,000 miles was an accomplishment!

Finally! Texas! Home for the night in El Paso.

SNL and Bedtime!!! Goodnight!!!

16 May 2009

On to Frosty Weather...

Nature's first green is gold

Her hardest hue to hold

Her early leaf's a flower;

But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf.

So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay.

I think Frost was on to something as he discussed the reality of items of gold eventually having to go away. I've spent four years in the desert as a maroon and gold Sun Devil and today was officially the last day of the graduation festivities. When Frost spoke of Nothing gold being able to remain, he spoke of innocence and beauty being corrupted by the world. As I reflect on my time here at ASU, I can't stay here in the Maroon and Gold. I have to move on. It's an amazing thing to know the God of the universe has a plan for me that requires me walking in faith towards the treasure He has for me. I like that the treasure is not necessarily one of gold and wealth (i always was more a fan of silver anyway ;p), but a treasure of His love and glory and hte ability to share that truth with others. I look forward to these nest two years. I feel odd in the fact it is all actually over. In my graduation ceremony I keep trying to tell myself, 'alicia, you are the one he is talking about...this speech is for you. It's all over now. No more school.' And yet it still hasn't truly sunk in. I think when I am on campus ministering in the fall and yet not having to go to class it all may finally sink in. But for now I feel lost in the present. I know I am packing up the condo I have lived in for two years and leaving for Texas in just over a week, and yet the thought of having my diploma and being done forever is just a weird feeling for me to grasp my head and heart around.

plus, i always look for a time to insert a Frost poem. :)

10 May 2009

Do not be afraid, but go on speaking and do not be silent, for I am with you, and no one will attack you to harm you, for I have many in this city.

Acts 18:9-10....good stuff!

This has been my prayer for my friends remaining in Arizona through the next school year. The past couple of days, I've accepted it as a prayer for myself as well. I;, really no good at remembering to pray for myself. I was offering up peace from God for a friend so she wouldn't have nightmares tonight, and I remembered it has been a few days since I've really talked to God about everything I'm processing with graduating and moving on. In some ways, I feel like if I don't talk to God about it, it's not all really happening! But I know that's not true.

I'm freaking out about moving on...the details of moving and selling things and giving things away as long as the crazy drive back to Texas...it can all be overwhelming, but considering I still have 3 finals left I don't really have time to focus on it all right now. I've been thinking a lot about Paul as I just re-read Acts this semester. i think of how his heart longed to visit places he had been and yet God called him to move on. I know next year and even over the summer I am going to long to be back in the desert, but God has told me to move on and trust the plan He has made for me. If I'd been asked even a year ago if I thought I'd be doing full-time ministry with the Navigators after graduation I'm pretty sure I'd smile a little and have said no. But look at God's ways! Praise Him they are much better than mine. But it is scary sometimes to move forward.. the first step is always so scary.

As Jason reminded me it's like driving at night...you can only see as far as the headlights go, but you can make the whole trip that way.

Will you pray with me for a community of heart friends and authenticity next year? Pray for a few girls I can really invest in and pray for me to be able to use my love for art for His glory? Also, please pray I can be a good steward of my time, both in serving and resting next year. I know when entering new situations I tend to go all in and forget about myself and my need to rest. Speaking of which...I need to pray. For me for once...it's time I stop forgetting and recognize my father is waiting.

Happy Mother's Day Mom!

02 May 2009

Mental Block

I haven't blogged because frankly I don't feel as if I have much to say lately. It's how I feel about most of my life right now. I feel a mental block. Emotions have been flooding over me this past week as I've had a lot of "lasts." Last SALT meeting, last day of class, last Nav Night, last cut from an art project for a grade (hopefully...i still have a week until my project is due!), last discipleship meeting, last time fountain hopping....a lot of lasts. I'm excited for next year and the "new thing" God has told me He will be doing, but I can't help crying while I thank Him for the old things I have and He has blessed me with while in the desert these four years. My first Navigator meeting I walked into the room and met a lot of people. The first worship song we sang was "Blessed Be Your Name." There is a line in the song that says,
Blessed Be Your name When I'm found in the desert place.

You see, it was at that time God put a peace in my heart I couldn't then describe.
For the first time I realized I was in the desert. I was in a place God needed
to humble me and let me have His name be blessed and not my own. He needed me
to praise Him for who He is. And through the process, God has given me great
gifts found in amazing friends to encourage and teach me along the way. As I
was reaching out in the desert, I thank God for His hand already being there
ready to grasp mine and help me up. I'm ready to leave the desert. But the
tears may still come as I move into the "new thing" God has in store.
To all my friends in the desert with me...thank you.