I went outside on a short run. It only took a few minutes for me to realize the sound of my feet slapping the wet cement was an easy distraction from what was in my head. It wasn't much longer until the sound of my breathe overwhelmed all other noise. So I stopped. My vans were blocking the rain from hitting the ground while I watched the cement being painted with dots all around my feet. I wanted to run, but I was mesmerized. I felt cold from the rain by now and could not tell which were drops and which were tears on my face.
I've secretly always desired Elliot the dragon (from Pete's Dragon) to be my friend and come up to me in those moments to wipe away my tears and tell me it's all going to be ok without any understandable words. But maybe that's just how I envision God coming alongside Job and in moments of my weakness and frustration I want to experience God coming alongside me and comfort me in that way.Maybe it's because though I am anything but, I feel slightly orphaned or unsettled in Long Beach and can't seem to shake feeling that way no matter how I've tried this semester.