03 June 2010

Overcast

After four years in the desert and the last one in California, I've almost forgotten what overcast days look like, Texas has reminded me the past few days.

It's been raining and storming a bit today, and yet the overcast sky is an interesting thing. It means there is stuff brewing, but not sure what, or if anything, ever comes out of it, but brewing nonetheless. I feel like for the past four months my brain has been overcast. So full of ideas and visions and planning brewing out of my mind and yet filled so much the numerous clouds seem to thwart any hope of clarity in the sky. There are decisions to be made, things I want to do, things God wants me to do, and things I'm not sure how God wants me to respond to or act to take care of.

Just so much.

I've been a little frustrated at cancelled meetings. There have been 4 times the past 2 1/2 weeks I was supposed to meet up or catch up with friends and it just didn't happen. No ones fault, just kinda sad schedules didn't line up. These past two days in Austin, it's been nice. I had an entire day today where again, a meeting didn't happen, so I had time to spare. I got to read part of "Prodigal God" and Isaiah 41. I strolled an outlet mall trying to get last minute items for the upcoming trip. I sat at a table and people-watched, God and I dialogued over a few things, (though I felt I was talking more than listening so tomorrow is His turn to speak) and I got a chance to breathe.

I don't like being this overcast with stuff to think about. I don't like not having peace over idea's of home. I don't like good friends and family of mine walking away from God and make insipid decisions. I don't like not always feeling known. But today has been good. And tomorrow I'm hoping the sky clears up a bit. Because as long as it's not raining, I'm going to Mozart's...my favorite coffee shop in Austin right on the Lake. And there... I am going to sit, and read, and listen to whatever God wants to say. And to top all of that...I get to hang out with my amazing sister and brother-in-law after all of that. Sounds like a great day to me!

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