Ifs.My life consists of a lot of ifs right now. If i make this grade I'll be ok or if i can drop this class and maintain three A+ grades where one class is not on the +/- system i can make it. Or if all else fails if i get the art scholarship i'll have in-state tuitian for next year. If I spend my time filling out scholarships I can for sure stay at ASU next year.
I feel like a broken record lately. The situation I am in is on my mind constantly. This past week I actually succeeded in stressing myself out to the point of illness. Exactly one year ago, a dear friend of mine said, "God answers prayers like there is nothing hard about it." I agree with that. But it is still hard for me when the answer is wait. In the Bible it says to be anxious about nothing. Seriously? nothing?!? that's hard.
There is so much I want to be able to take into my own hands and control yet I realize I am not able to handle anything right now...especially on my own. This Tuesday is a major test for me. It is my hardest subject and also one of the key classes in determining where I will be next year. Key in our terms. Since God is above time it is all taken care of. Another friend used to always remind me of that. I wish I could take these truths and let the peace of Christ reign in my heart. Right now...i am uneasy.
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