I Am Not Ashamed

>God gave us His Son,
The sinless One to be sin for us

That we might be the righteousness of God.

Your Kingdom has come, we’re being changed into Your likeness

Children of light, it’s our time to arise

I am not ashamed, I know whom I’ve believed

For God Himself has come to me,

Now Jesus is my destiny.

I know I am changed and all You’ve given me,

This hope, this love, this life,

I can’t deny Your power within me

So here I am,

Send me.

Verse 2:

Now we are in You and you have given us Your message:

To tell the world be reconciled to God.

Your favour is here in this day of salvation,

Now is the time, let Your glory arise!

Bridge:

Purify us, Lord

So we’re spotless and pure

As we hold our Your Word

To this generation.

How can they hear,

How can they believe,

How can they call on Your name

Unless we tell them? (2x)

donuts

Why are spare tires referred to as donuts anyway? Is it because with donuts you are not able to go as fast? Or that although not a healthy meal, donuts get the job done?

Anyways, my day is filled with one donut. There is a large screw lodged into the side of my rear tire. I had to change to me spare donut and go t Discount Tire so they could order me a new one. These are to make my dad proud.

(you can see the screw on the bottom of the tire
in the trunk photo on the right)

Thus, the shiny object distracted snail gets blocked by a cyber stick that transports him through a wormhole and thus he is unable to move the centimeter he was supposed to today. The week drags on.

life...for sale as is

I feel like the week of midterms runs by so quickly, the following week feels as if it must move as a snail distracted by a shiny object just to make up for it. My co-worker and I thought it was Wednesday all day at work today...wishful thinking i suppose.

I was reading Ecc. 9:10 today that reads, "whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might..." I'm working two jobs currently on top of school and my ministry with the Navigators. I started off making $7/ hour at one job with no responsibility and after 3 weeks got a $1.50/hr raise! I started my other job making $9/hr and yesterday got a raise to $13 an hour and a higher position. I thank God that whatever job I have i tend to advance quickly. I'm a hard worker...my parents trained me well is what my bosses always say. I enjoy doing my work well.

These two women, one from Texas, the other from Hawaii but both vacationing in AZ, came into the Halloween store today. They both were very amiable and offered me numerous job options they thought i would be successful at due to my personality. It was cute. I don't know them, but they encouraged me to do well in my classwork and to move to either Texas or Hawaii after graduation.

And thus, monday is almost over...bring on the weekend!

friends

With my friends, i tend to categorize different songs or colors or dance moves to them in my head...so as I was thinking about that tonight, i thought I'd list a few...

• Diana (sis) - She's a Rainbow- Rolling Stones (also anything from MXPX, slowly going the way of the buffalo)
  
• Brent- Honey- Moby
• Ariel- For these moments I feel faint- Relient K (also Oops I did it Again- Brittany Spears)
  
• Alexa- Engage- Pax 217
• Alissa- Paralyzer- Finger 11
• Katy- For Good- Wicked (also Forever by Papa Roach and any country song ever basically)
  
• Ms. Escalante- We didn't start the fire- Billy Joel
• Marcel- Bad Day- Daniel Powder
• Janeen- Phil Collins- the song with the gorilla on the drums ;)
  
• Jean- Doom song- gir
• Kayla- you said- shane and shane
• Immanuel- Texican Style- Los Lonely Boys
• Dad- Copenhagen- Robert Earl Keen
• Billy- You're So Vain- Carly Simon
• Peggy- vamos a la playa
• Boo Boo- Lo -Flo Rida (also the techno song sandstorm)
  
• Sarah S.- the way you move- outkast
• Mariam- geek in pink- Jason Mraz
• Brad- "doctor, doctor i've got an emergency..."
• Sarah B.- Newsies
• Laura- Suckerpunch- Five iron Frenzy (also, raindrops keep fallin' on my head)
• Mom- wouldn't it be lovely- My Fair Lady
• Andra- Ms. Jackson-
  
• Andrea- the office theme song
• Amber- Let's pretend we live in Antartica- Of Montreal
• Christa- Satan is my Motor- Cake
• Nurge- Places you have come to fear the most- Dashboard
• Sonia- Sunrise, Sunset- Fiddler on the Roof
• Diana A. - ghetto- from Hardball
  
• Joran- All Star- Smashmouth
• James- Crash- Dave Matthews Band
• Lauren M.- gold digger- Kayne West
• Bethany- Extreme Days- Toby Mac
• Jeremiah- she will be loved- maroon 5
  
• Jordan- You gove love a bad name- Bon Jovi
  
• Emily C. - Barracuda
• Alissa- School's Out- Alice Cooper
• Josh B.- Sweet Child O Mine- Guns and Roses
• Josh M.- Beverly Hills- Weezer
• Amy- Honky Tonk Badonkadonk
• all my NZed friends- I am not ashamed
• Krystal- That's How you Know- Enchanted soundtrack
  

I know there are people and songs I am forgetting...but it's bedtime! Are there any songs you think of when you think of me?

is there such a thing as a cursed blessing?

As much as I would like to erase parts of my memory, I cannot. Sometimes I cherish my photographic memory, especially in times of testing or photography. Other times I wish I were blind.

I still remember introducing the two. A bond formed so quickly the answer to who came up with the idea alludes all of us in the story. I had a best friend and a new friend I thought would fit in perfectly. They fit great as new best friends; my old inside jokes and memories just were not enough anymore. I was ditched and these two girls explored a new territory I was unwilling to go to. One introduced the other to new friends of cigarettes and tequila. In return, those friends introduced her to Heroin and Ex.

I would be more involved in work and keeping up with the friends she turned away from, instead of biking across town to her house anymore. After the incident, I would find myself driving past her house on my way home from work praying as I passed and thanking God I had enough gasoline in my truck to make it home most nights.

I still remember her face thinned more with drugs than age had ever done before. Her fingers wavered ever so slightly as her yellowish nails struck the lighter to ignite the flame. She offered both explanations and apologies for her betrayal of my friendship and trust, and like a pressured customer at Walmart I bought the blue light sale item as soon as I recognized the deal. When I was driving home, I remember thinking if I should keep the purchase or return the as-is item for something else. I kept it. And along with it I kept the trust I thought I could give to another best friend for a very long time. No matter how much we both wanted things to go back to how they were, she didn't want to leave behind her new friends. And I knew with my whole heart I could not accept them. It would be 2 years before God blessed me with amazing friends I felt I could trust. I still cherish them so incredably much.

You only get out of something what you put in I've realized. If I put in no trust, how can I expect any in return. But to be lied to and betrayed was a feeling I had to deal with between the painted blue nails and those yellowed ungroomed ones.

She left the drugs and years later we are now in communication again. I suppose tonight, I just had a snipit of my photographic memory come back, and I'm wondering why. Where do I go from here?