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This is Long Beach's conference video for the Sunland regional TRUTH conference last weekend. It was so much fun to be behind the camera again!!!

I love the Olympics...

Joannie Rochette of Canada suffered the loss of her mother this past Sunday. I cried as she took the ice tonight giving a bronze medal performance. For once in my life, I'm glad the US did not medal so that she could. Talk about heart pull!

Let My People Go!

I sometimes wonder how Moses was feeling when God told him that he was sending him to Pharaoh so that the Isralites would be freed and then said in order to do so, "I will harden his heart so that he will not let his people go (Ex. 4:21)."

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Oh LORD Who am I to see you in this way! I am not worthy to be here barefoot on this ground. Oh YHWH, thank you that you have heard the cry of our people! The Egyptians are causing us to suffer. You want me to tell Pharoah for you?!? They will just laugh at me, how will they believe it is you who has sent me?

What? What's in my hand, it's a staff. Whoa, a snake! I wasn't expecting that. Do what now? Put my hand in my cloak? Ahh, I'm a lepor! Now I'm going to have to leave the community! How can I see Pharoah now? Oh LORD I am sorry to have doubted you. I've never been good at speaking and now you are sending me to the ruler of the whole country! Yes, I know you will help my speech, but wouldn't anyone else be better than I? Aaron's already headed over. Ok. I won't forget the staff.

Wait, God. You just told me you are sending me to Pharaoh to ask for your people to be freed and now you are telling me Pharaoh is going to have a hardened heart?!? Look, I didn't ask for this! Now they are not even letting them use straw for making bricks and yet still require the same quota per day! See I've messed up your plan, why are they still captive?

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Moses did not understand why God had told him his people would be free and then they were not free right away. It took ten plagues for Pharoah to let the Isralites go. When I think of friends or people in my life held captive by the world, I can't help but plead with God reminding Him these are His people who he has allowed to be free by He, Himself coming to Earth to be broken. He has promised to finish the work He began and yet I don't see it anywhere near finished and the clock is ticking! Oh I wonder how God shakes His head at me when I am anxious or impatient at His transformation in other's lives.

Ecclesiastes 3:11, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

Such true words to be recorded.

I want to go to there

I can empathize with the Israelites.

I find myself at times (particularly when my screen saver scrolls through photos from last year) where I find myself wishing for the past. Wishing to be back at Point Loma for Spring Break sleeping on the floor of a physio classroom building fences and strolling around old town San Diego. I was to carve my name into a tree with SS and look at photographs in a museum while having to remember to put my shoes back on before going into the building.

I don't think about the tears cried with Lauren over where God was calling us after we graduate from ASU. I don't remember the pain of a friend over a relationship. I push away remembering the hurt from close friends in my own life. I don't recall being broke and living paycheck to paycheck.

We choose to remember the good. We want to go back to safety becasue we know how it ends up...with the present. We know we make it out alive and so we can remember the good from a situation and not worry about the things that once kept us up all night.

I want to believe no matter what stage I am at in life, that the best days are ahead.

Is. 55:10-11

As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

Glancing Over my Shoulder

Today was the kick-off of Long Beach ministry as both staff and student leaders met to both plan and pray about this semester. It was such a sweet time and God really unified our hearts in vision and purpose, yet today I felt 'off.'

I couldn't help but think back to last year at my last Student Leader retreat at ASU. I spent time talking with my other senior friends discussing scripture and the Holy Spirit's role in our life. We had to speak about what legacy we wanted to leave behind and Immanuel shared a song he wrote in Mexico entitled "More than Conquerors" in which the chorus of the song still randomly resonates in my head from time to time. Life is different now.

Our regional conference is coming up and now on staff I so wish for the students of CSULB to attend and hopefully glean as much out of it as I have the past four years. It breaks my heart thinking too of friends from those years who now have made their own choices in walking away from Christ in their lives.

Reading through 1 Samuel yesterday, I was struck by a verse where Samuel is crying out to God distraught the people are asking for a king to be like all the other nations. The Lord responded saying, "Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king." What a sad thing to reject a perfect and just king!

One of my favorite painters, Caravaggio, depicted this scene entitled The Calling of St. Matthew. The thing I love about it is he painted Jesus' hand mimicking the manner of Michelangelo's Adam. The limp hand sitting there while God's was stretched out from heaven as pictured in the Sistine Chapel. But Christ came to Earth to die for us so that we may live! He took on human form for us! For an instance in time, Jesus had the ability to be weak as we are. Will you respond?

The Airport Game

My good friend Sarah has an "airport game" she plays anytime traveling where you try to find someone you know unexpectedly. While I play along, I also have another airport game I play. Aside from people watching, I've been inspired from the movie, The Terminal to always look around and mentally plan how I would survive if I were trapped in an airport for a month or so. Which vendors would I befriend and where I would want to sleep at night. It may seem like a strange thing to think about, but it's a glimpse into how my mind works! (I also have always secretly wanted drawers full of other countries currency separated so if I need to travel I'm always prepared like the spies are in movies or like Doc is in Back to the Future...maybe that all comes from my previous desire to be in the CIA!)
Anyways, I think airports are great places to think about where I've been and possibly am going in life. I look around at people from so many countries and can pray for them while wondering if maybe God will call me there someday. One of my good friends asked if I ever felt like I am in Narnia in life. Wondering which place is really home...Texas, Arizona, California, Holland...sometimes I can feel that way. (I even took a photo by a lamppost in Holland thinking about this!) Even the Levitate tribe upon entering the promised land were not given any land of their own, but they were given God and His promises. In 1 Peter 2:9 it says, "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." So as we are the priesthood, we are not always given some place to call a physical home. But really, life on this Earth is just like an airport. We are waiting on our departure to arrive to be with our Lord and Savior in heaven. Meanwhile in London, we are getting glimpses of the world beyond the lamppost while eagerly awaiting Christ's return.

There is only so much time before the flight takes off. How much more then do we need to work towards things that matter.

Singing Songs to Someone they've Ignored...

At the beginning of the month, I went to a choir concert three of the girls from the freshmen Bible Study were in. One of the perks of the job I suppose! It was in an older church downtown with a full sized organ and stained glass windows. I was very pleased to find out the majority of the songs, whether in English or not, referenced Christ and his life and birth so that Santa was not the focus.

The songs were sung beautifully and I couldn't help but think, 'some of these students have no idea what they are singing about!' They have no idea the implications Christ's birth, death and Resurrection has for them personally.

At our church's Christmas Eve service, the story was told of how renown Violinist Joshua Bell experimented for the Washington Post by playing his violin in a D.C. metro. People were interviewed who had simply passed him by saying there was nothing spectacular about the violinist that made them stop. People walked by unaware they were missing the opportunity to hear for free a skilled professional! Only at the end does one woman stop and recognize him.

How much more are people in the world seeing reflections of God's glory and love and still still don't stop and thus miss the opportunity of their lifetimes. By the tree had lyrics that I've always loved saying, "The whole world's looking for a sign...missing the ones in plain view."

Let's choose to stop and gaze in wonder and awe at who God is.

The Rainbow Road...

The Rainbow Road Track was always the most difficult for me when playing Mario Kart as a kid. It is so easy to fall off the edge and while you are focusing so much on every turn, you forget to remember what you just did as you'll have to come back and face it in another lap.

Yesterday driving back to Tempe from Long Beach, it literally poured down raining for over half of the trip! The really neat thing though was as it went through waves every 10-15 min, I could spot a rainbow in between the clouds. Recently reading through the Old Testament again, I keep thinking back to God's promises and how Abraham was mentioned as a man unwavering in belief of God's promise to him being, "fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.(Rom 4)" So as I was driving, I was thinking back to God's rainbow he gave Noah as a symbol of his promise. So I saw rainbows all along my journey and was thinking about how God has moved at Long Beach this semester...

Sometimes I'm so caught up in God's promise I forget to remember it and observe how He is working(...I think the Israelites' had the same problem!) So I fall off of the Rainbow Road. But the promise continues on throughout the entire journey even when we feel like we are simply going in circles doing laps.

How cool is it that none of God's promises have to do with our ability, but God himself. 2 Timothy 2:13 says,
"if we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself."

What a great thing to know we have a God who is faithful, loving, just, good, omnipotent, sovereign and holy. He gives us rainbows all along the way! Sometimes they are easier to see after a storm, but that makes us appreciate them and stand in awe all the more!

The Sound of Souls in Unison.

One of my friends in college used to make fun of me for how excited I got during worship song when the church congregation would sing the "la la's" together or even get to clap!

I love clapping in large groups and here's why...there is something about praising God together in those moments I cannot seem to get enough of. The clapping transcends backgrounds or languages or comparing your singing abilities with the person next to you, and simply lifts a unified song up to God.

I used to decide to not clap in making some sort of rebellious Charles Dalton type of move to exercise my right not too; but truly, I came to realize I was only depriving myself of being able to participate in communal worship that was not intended for me, but my Father.

So next time the worship leader encourages to clap, resist rolling your eyes and join along with your family. Let us praise God with clapping!

"Clap your hands, all you nations;
shout to God with cries of joy.

How awesome is the LORD Most High,
the great King over all the earth! "

Psalm 47:1-2

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great way to spend 9 min...

immersion

During worship last week, I saw one of those typical worship background images and yet it stuck out to me for some reason. There was a girl standing with her arms raised into the sun as she was silhouetted. Here's the cool thing, her left arm was cutting through the space on the image where the sun was. The glare going back into the camera lens was so bright, the arm disappeared into the sun.

I want my life to be like that.

First, that people can look into my life and not help but see the Son. Second, that my life will continually blend into God's that I may become less and He may become more...

"...when darkness and light collide...light always wins."

and by his wounds we are healed...

There are so many things I could write about Jesus and how amazing He is in this space. But one way this was expressed in my life today was in my inability to journal. I heard this talk on silence and solitude this past week at our Collegiate conference and something about that struck me. I think it had to deal with how multi-tasking my brain can be.

But this last week I ended up hurting my wrist, so as I sat beneath a large oak tree getting time with God intending to journal out my thoughts...my hand hurt so bad I could not write without pain. So I set down my pen and listened. In Ecclesiastes it says to not be in a hurry to leave the king's presence. So I sat and had a sweet time partially talking, but mostly listening to what my Savior had to say. What a sweet afternoon.

The Office Wedding Reception...

So in honor of Jim and Pam getting married on the office...we held a wedding reception in one of the dorms at CSULB. Complete with wedding cake, sparkling cider toasts to the Halpert's, wedding pics and dance parties...it was one of the most enjoyable times I've had thus far in Long Beach.

ROI- Return on Investments

ROI's are an interesting concept. Being able to determine as a company where your resources are best put to use by measuring where a profit is produced and determining what to do in the case of a profit loss by changing the company's game plan.

As believers, we don't have this privilege. We are called to love and love well. This does not mean we always get to see the result of our love in a person's life or we can measure where to invest by numbers or seen gain. We don't always get to see the impact we make in someone's life. We do not get to choose who to not love based on their actions or opinions of us, but we are called to love.

There are people who are easier to love than others, though I don't think that justifies us not loving others well. There are times in life I would love to see a return on my investment in someone. Times where I can see that year I invested in some girl was not a waste, but she is pursuing Christ and helping others do the same along the way. But I don't always get that privileged. God has called me to love, not sit back and watch apathetically.

The other week I heard this comparison that has stuck with me...

As Christians, we are like fans at a football game. All sitting around watching a few guys put all of their practice into reality. But really, we are the ones needing to get on the field and play, not expecting the professionals to do it (pastors, missionaries, etc). But realizing we are all supposed to be out there, ministering, exactly where God has put each of us.

We are not called to sit back blessed by God to be fat and happy cheering on the team on the field, but we are meant to engage, to love.

As scary as it can be, I'm grabbing my helmet of salvation and heading out to the field...you in?

Great Game!

Man, what a great game! This is one of my favorite photos I took! Notice the ball directly in the top middle! Thanks for the error Angels! Rangers victory at the last Angels home game of the season! That feels good! Thanks Gabe for cheering and Alissa for the b-day gift!

Gazebos and Gelato

There is a Gazebo in Parker Square that I used to love going to hen it just opened. Van Dyke's Soda Shoppe was there and Parker Square was just in its beginnings so that not too many people knew about it. I took the class of 06 Senior portraits there and could be found making gelato trips on too many occasions to count.

One of my favorite things to do there was to sing Sound of Music's "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" while dancing around and jumping from bench to bench with friends pretending we live in a different time. There is something about pretending life is a musical that is just so amazing to me. You look at the Sound of Music or singing in the rain or Newsies or My Fair Lady that makes life sound so more appealing!

Beyond Belief

In the past 3 days, I started and finished Josh Hamilton's book, Beyond Belief. There is one line at the end I fell in love with.

"You might still be reading a book about Josh Hamilton if I had not turned my life over to Jesus Christ..."

This Ranger's outfielder gets something I wish I could on a more daily basis. This life is not about us. It is not about how comfortable I am or the house I live in or the car I drive or the places I go to. But "He must become greater, I must become less (Jn. 3:30)."

Sometimes in Long Beach I find my heart yearning for comfort. Wanting close friends to hang out with and Suzi at the local boba place to know my order as I walk in the door. I want so desperately to not get lost going to the grocery store and a place to come home to that feels like my own. But if these things were the case, I would not be following God's will for my life at the moment. It's not about Alicia. It's not about comfort, but obedience. The Christian life goes beyond belief into life and practice.

And though it is hard, Long Beach is my new home. We just don't know each other well yet.

happy home

You have to love the ability we have to get together as a group of friends and bond over things such as card games and Beatles Rock Band! After a long couple of days passing out flyers and getting the Navigators name out, a bunch of students came over for a night of fellowship and games at mine and Alissa's house (shown on right).


Getting the Beatles new Rock band for the wii for my birthday was such an amazing gift! Thank you mom & dad & the wickett's! It's been great to see & sometimes hear the students rock out!


I challenged a couple of the students to a game called Nertz. I think playing with 10 was a little intense even for me!

Jeremiah 20:9

Today was an amazing day in Long Beach besides the soreness and sunburns I am experiencing as a result of a 3 1/2 hour bike ride! I spent some time in Jeremiah today and it was neat to see in the midst of people turning their backs on God, how I found encouragement. I was encouraged as in Chapter 18 I remembered sometimes God changes the design of the pot for better as is the potter. Sometimes life may not look how I expected, but it is for good.

Then I read Jeremiah 20:9,

But if I say, “I will not mention him
or speak any more in his name,”
his word is in my heart like a burning fire,
shut up in my bones,
I am weary of holding it in;
indeed, I cannot.

and in response, I came up with this. It is a mixed media piece and it looks different in person, but I like the reminder. Sometimes it is fun to play with other mediums than photography for me though I am not too good at it. What a sweet reminder before the semester starts.