James 1:2-6 --Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
So i've always enjoyed the book of James. My New Testament professor was always eager to remind us that it is 'an epistle of straw!', but that doesn't mean i agree with him. I'm at this point in life where I am asking God for something and I just have to keep the faith and believe it is all going to work out. That's a hard thing to do. I feel like i keep giving up my burden to God and telling him to take it away but as He does I am pulling on his pant leg like a little child asking him to let me in on what His will is for my life and what my future holds. This isn't who at faith is supposed to look like. But it's hard to just let God work as we blindly follow. But i keep trying to remind myself that 'the Christian life is like driving at night. you can only see as far as the headlights reach but you can make the entire trip that way.' And we still do have directions. God has given us His word to instruct us and teach us. To encourage us and remind us of His promises. That doesn't mean life will be easy. It doesn't mean everything is going to work it out as I want. But it means i'm safe. I'm accepted. I'm loved and cared for. I know He knows what's best for me but I have to trust in that knowledge and believe, truly believe, that if He wants me to remain at ASU next year i'll be here and there is nothing i can do to stop that. I pray that is His will.