13 November 2004

Cleansing of the Pores?

Odd.
In the past, I only found a drop of salt-filled pupil influenced water to only fall from my face about once a year and on a very rare occasion twice.
I used to never cry.
These past two years have changed that but, it's not that I was/am a huge black-hearted being, yet crying is just not how I express my sadness...It normally comes in music or writing or writing music. And then even when the tear does come it is normally alone or in light company. But tonight I saw pictures from the past of what in my room I have present pictures of...the same places, different years.
You see, tonight was the play "And Then They Came for Me" presented by the Marcus JV theatre crew..(Keila and Bailey, you guys rocked no matter what you though of your parts!) It was a story from the holocaust mainly based in The Nederlands. I was good until the end. I was fine until one of the actors placed his shoe next to the other items in remembrance of those lost. I was ok until the candles were placed in a row and the strategic placing of said candles left them as the only thing left on stage once the curtain was drawn. And then I was not.
I walked those streets.
{I think what really bothered me is in 8th grade, Andra and I had the opportunity to meet with a 'real-life' survivor of the holocaust. Eli showed us his scars and told us his stories. The last play I viewed in entirety in that auditorium was Andra's JV performance before she quit. She cried when Eli showed us his pictures...warned an auditorium of teenagers to be a strong example of good to our world. I tend to think it was the last time I saw that emotion of good ambition in her eyes. I tend to think why I am dancing around the subject is the memory I have of Eli's two possessions left from this event in history...his hat with numbers stitched on it for the concentration camps...and his tattered holed left shoe.}

All those lives lost...Corrie Ten Boom and Anne Frank. Holland, Germany, Poland, Europe, the World.
Embrace your life.
Don't use history as an excuse
You are who you choose to be.
Stand firm. Stand strong. Cry when you need to, but don't dwell or hold grudges. I know another salt-filled tear will come soon...in approximately 2 months, 7 days I will despise it's taste yet again in my lips...And yet, I'll be ready to move on and embrace this venture God has graciously allowed me to join in on. John 16:33

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