not in kansas anymore

It has to be said...congrats sister! Rockchawk, Jayhawk!

And so the Adventure Has Begun!

In two weeks, I will have spent my time in 9 states!

It all started in Arizona as we finished moving into our condo last week.

All went smoothly as the Nav boys helped out a lot from setting up our Internet to carry ridiculous furniture up the

stairs. I think the dog (Vegas) really likes the new place as well. This is a photo of Katy letting her up on the couch even though we said she shouldn't! Katy is trying to hide but you can still tell it's her!

From there I was off to Philly. Mattias and Maggie's wedding is this evening but i came early to spend some time with friends and relax since the Diamondbacks were out of town so I had no work anyway. I spent a day walking around on my own and working on my photo thesis for ASU. Then I hung out with Mark and Wendy one day only to go to Washington D.C. the next! Finally yesterday Ariel, Guido and I finally had some time to hang out and spend time talking and enjoying each other's company. He injured his neck earlier on in the week so i made him stand by this sign at Jim's, the cheesesteak place we went to, it's so good to see old friends again. Today's the big wedding. Should be fun as even more Dutch and friends will be there!

One of THOSE days...

Brent's got a point...those of us in college drop off the blogging world as soon as finals come. I get in blogging slumps..a few days where nothing happens for me to share. Then i feel like there is at least one week a month. One week of intensiveness where I must go straight to bed and then even more intense things stir up the next day. These past few days have been that craziness to me and I am going to attempt to make sense of it for you readers!

First of all, Cassie, Katy and I did not get on the Price is Right but we will be on TV May 18th. Back-right side of the studio and Katy has an amazing cameo behind one of the contestants mothers. We 'slept' on the streets of L.A. There were old ladies from everywhere! We made lots of friends (lots of Texans were there as well!) and played Uno with the guys behind us in line. Then came 6am. We received our vouchers securing a spot in the studio and we were off to head back to the car and relax before we had to return.

There were still over 8 hours more of waiting at that point but finally going into the studio was all worth it! It was a lot taller than TV camera angles had tricked me to believe. There were only 300 audience members but it was SO shiny! On TV, the green and such look a little dull, but 70s sparkle sang from the entire studio! we met all but one of the contestants while waiting and Charles is by far the coolest that made it on stage. At the commercial breaks. Bob Barker answered audience questions. He loved saying his quote from Happy Gilmore and we decided to tell him we weren't studying for finals but came to his show instead. He told us to not blame him when we are on welfare! HAHA. So began the long trip home after some Chipotle.

So that brings us to yesterday. I woke up fairly early because I had a lot to do. I paid my student bills, dropped off my paper, returned library books...and then I saw the US Airways booth by the Union. I had applied at US Air before to be a ticket agent so I thought i'd check it out. I start talking to this guy named Michael who explained the job i applied for stunk and he started telling me about where he worked at the fleet. SO he told me to go back to the dorms and print off my resume. I did and returned. We talked for a while and then he asked, "So, do you want the job? Oh, by the way.,..that was your interview!" Ummm..oh my! YES. I am now a member of the US Air fleet at Sky Harbor airport! I went through 2 hours of processing this morning and ordered my uniform and got my badge! My training starts June 4th. But man, how amazing is God! Best job ever! i get domestic flights for $15 and international for $40 one way. Hello Holland? Australia finally? Egypt? I'm so pumped!

So after finding out i got the job, more exciting things came as we had the Nav boys over to the dorms to start moving in to our Condo. It is called 'Casa Blanca' due to the 3 Mexicans and 3 nursing majors living there. We set up our rooms, hauled in items, ordered pizza and watched some Office and Prison Break. What an amazing day. You know those days where you just feel like and know you've accomplished a lot? Yeah, yesterday was one of those.

COME ON DOOOOOWN!

Sooo..i'll be in L.A. for the evening. And seeing the Price is Right in the Morning! Best Reading DAy ever!

The final leg

Today has been one of the longest days in a while. I found out around midnight last night that i was 3 points shy of a B+ on my test giving me a B- overall in my class. Normally this is no biggie, but last night and all of today I have felt defeated in a sense. You see, what those three points mean to me is the final answer in a roller coaster I have been playing all year.

There is no guarantee of a scholarship at ASU next year.

I have to appeal yet again. Granted, much has happened and it is possible (especially with God) to recieve the scholarship another year. So last night I couldn't sleep. I stopped writting my paper at 1am to try and rest yet I was awake until 4. After spending hours working on a 3d project and more hours at work running up and down stairs trying to keep my mind off the workload in the dorm rooms...well, i am mentally and physically exhausted. I'm sorry if I seem distant or down. The reason is because I am.

8 more days.

i can hear the whistling wind down the hall!

It's official...


monsoon season is here! I'm off to work! i hope the bus doesn't tip!

it is now 4:38am. I have been working on the Nav video for 6 hours today bot including the work from the past week. I am now two papers, one huge art project and two finals away from being done with my sophomore year in college. I think it's time for bed.

Things I Love from the past week...

• Last Sat. --randomly going to the Renaissance Faire for the heck of it!
• Playing softball on an intramural team and hitting an amazing pitch out to deep center to have my years old cleat break as i rounded second! (the bottom fell off!)
• MCing with my Mexican brother
• Walking into a gun club to get shells for an art project and not having the guy blink an eye.
• Spending 2 1/2 hours then drilling over 100 bullets
• Watching the Office three times and laughing just as hard each time
• The Casa Blanca ladies signing our lease to the condo!
• Trying Skyline Chili and getting a taste of Cincinnati
• going to the sunrise service at a different church and having the worship wake me up!
• Donuts after the service with friends
• Spending time just chilling with one of my favorite people and falling asleep during "Little Miss Sunshine" because we were so tired!
• Teaching people about missions in SGIM MILK
• CiCi's opening up in Mesa
• Finding out my grandmother bought an ab lounge!
• working at Chase field and making more tips than any other candy vendor! (partially because i sometimes yell, "Red Vines...M&Ms...pay off my tuition! (people think it's funny!))
• getting a text from my friend informing me she was in the back of a police car!
• eating sour patch kids
• Max Brenner?
• Eating fresh grapefruit in my room the way my mom and I used to.

What are you loving from this past week?

breathing

"Slugs! He created slugs. They can't hear! They can't speak! They can't operate machinery! I mean, are we not in the hands of a lunatic? If I were creating a world, I wouldn't mess about with butterflies and daffodils. I would have started with lasers, eight o'clock, day one!"





Today...

just really felt like a good day to know I am a child of God.

Finding my Neverland

J.M. Barrie: [gives him a journal] Here you go.

Peter Llewelyn Davies: What's this?

J.M. Barrie: All great writers begin with a good leather binding and a respectable title. Open it.

Peter Llewelyn Davies: [reads] "The Boy Castaways: Being a record of the terrible adventures of the brothers Davies, faithfully set forth by Peter Llewelyn Davies."

J.M. Barrie: Kipling would swallow his own ear for a title like that!

Peter Llewelyn Davies: I still have no idea what to write.

J.M. Barrie: Write about anything. Write about your family, write about the talking whale!

Peter Llewelyn Davies: What whale?

J.M. Barrie: The one that's trapped in your imagination and desperate to get out.

I love the movie Finding Neverland. I haven't watched it in a long time but it was on my mind today. It is one of four movies that makes my cry every time i watch it. (the other three are field of dreams, men of honor, and hardball. We are Marshall will probably be added to the list as soon as it comes out to DVD) But i was thinking about how it makes me cry every time i watch it and compared it to this whole scholarship situation. Almost every time i dwell and have time to process i just start crying! Today I forgot to turn in an element of my Comp. Literacy homework. I realized right as class ended and when i got back to the dorms I just lost it.

I'm dreaming big.

I'm clinging to the promise that God will grant the desires of my heart. I don't know how it could possibly come to be, but I'm asking and willing to receive. I used to think God would tell me I was asking for something too big if I prayed for something i really desired, like "God, I need $8,000 for Holland and it's getting close" or "God, I really want to make all "A's" this semester," but He wants to listen to my prayers and give me what is best, even if it doesn't necessarily line up with my wants. God is above time and doesn't always give us what we need right up until we need it.

I used to be like Cameron Diaz in The Holiday. I could never cry. These days that tends to be the opposite these days. But it is not the tears of failure...or of mourning that stream from my eyes. They are the tears of waiting. Tears of the unknown. Tears of fear from maybe having to leave behind great friends once again. I've done that so much in life I wish it were a smaller world after-all. I wish Kayla and Kristy lived in the same world as Jean and Guido, Delaja, Alexa, and Ariel. Then I wish that world would transform next door to the world of Sarah, Katy, Emily, Mish, my roomies, and the troopers which would magically be in the same duplex as my family. Long distance is hard. Sometimes i feel like i am trapped between four worlds not including suburbs. Kinda looking forward to that mansion in de hemmel one day.

Don't get me wrong..life is good. A little hard at times, but for now I'm ok with being a little emotional. After-all...the tears eventually stop right.

candy..popcorn...peanuts..get your candy here!

So i got a new job for the summer today! I am working at Chase Field where the AZ Diamondbacks play as a vendor! My first day is for a pre-season game Sat. afternoon and then I get to work opening day! I've always wanted to be a vendor! Imagine...money for working...and getting to go to unlimited baseball games for free! I am so excited! My friends mock me about my excitement though!

Speaking about baseball, i also played my first game on an intramural league here on campus. It was fun although we did end up getting run-ruled! my average is currently a .500. not too shabby! One field error though. i think i'm probably the only one who actually cares about that though! I have an enormous list of things to do for tomorrow so i think i am off to bed!

Gods zegen voor ons.

bumbles?

is this me?

Won't you be my neighbor?

It's Official!!! We are having the best neighbors ever this summer (well..while they aren't off serving God in different countries!) going into next year! I love how God answers prayers! Now if he will just release the answer to the whole confirming he wants me here next year!

BIG test in Geology at 9am. This is a big one please pray!

whatever happened to wishing upon a star and dreams coming true?

Ifs.

My life consists of a lot of ifs right now. If i make this grade I'll be ok or if i can drop this class and maintain three A+ grades where one class is not on the +/- system i can make it. Or if all else fails if i get the art scholarship i'll have in-state tuitian for next year. If I spend my time filling out scholarships I can for sure stay at ASU next year.

I feel like a broken record lately. The situation I am in is on my mind constantly. This past week I actually succeeded in stressing myself out to the point of illness. Exactly one year ago, a dear friend of mine said, "God answers prayers like there is nothing hard about it." I agree with that. But it is still hard for me when the answer is wait. In the Bible it says to be anxious about nothing. Seriously? nothing?!? that's hard.

There is so much I want to be able to take into my own hands and control yet I realize I am not able to handle anything right now...especially on my own. This Tuesday is a major test for me. It is my hardest subject and also one of the key classes in determining where I will be next year. Key in our terms. Since God is above time it is all taken care of. Another friend used to always remind me of that. I wish I could take these truths and let the peace of Christ reign in my heart. Right now...i am uneasy.

Dust Bowl

So I live in the desert.

Today in Geology, Prof. Burt was talking about the effects of wind on erosion and the development of dunes. Talking about (as DC Talk put it) how you can't see the wind but you can see the effects of the wind. Biking to my Art History test i felt the wind on my back and thought back to a story a friend shared with me last week. We shared testimonies and he reflected on the moment he recieved Christ remembering a gust of wind. At the time he just thought it was pretty sweet, but with reflection admires the wind recognizing the Holy Spirit is described as a gust of wind. I'm not really good at recognizing God's presence in my life. He's always with me, but sometimes it is harder for me to see than others.

I feel like I'm in the middle of a dust storm. God's presence is all around everything in my life right now but as the wind picks up I can't see what is forming around me. I'm not sure where I am headed or where to step. I shift my weight trying to maintain balance only to realize the best bet is to wait until I hear a whisper guiding me where I should go.

On Spring Break we played a version of Fear factor and in one of the rounds a teammate was blindfolded and had to run behind someone banging a pot lid to direct them where to go. It's scary not being able to see. And sometimes I don't want to take a step forward. But as God's whisper guides I know I can trust His voice to follow. I want to be a Rhino. Running 30mph while I can only see 30 feet in front of me. As I've said before...the Christian life is like driving at night. You can only see as far as the headlights reach, but you can make the whole trip that way. So here I am...waiting to move. Waiting to run ahead.

San Felipe and back again

So last week was Spring Break (don't panic mom and dad, it's only a henna tattoo!). It was a good break. One day we even got to serve a local missionary by helping him move as after 7 years he has to move back to the US to be with family in poor health. (His name is Bob if you want to keep him in your prayers as it is a hard time for him to leave his ministry and move on.) I got to hang out with some precious people but a lot of stress has still been on my heart lately with school. One of my friends is in the same position I am, but he has joined the army knowing his scholarship is gone.

I am trying everything I can to stay at ASU next year and study hard. This is going to be an intense week for me. Yesterday morning my hardrive crashed so Katy drove me around to buy me a new one and after over 6 hours I finally am back up and running for my classes tomorrow. So for the past year I have been reading straight through the Bible and last week I was at II Kings 23:22-23. I love how immedietly as Josiah hears from the Book of the Law he takes action right away as his eyes are enlightened. Talk about Ecc. 5:4 and not delaying when making a vow to God! Josiah took action on what he knew to be true and he didn't waste a minuate in it! This is the focus I am praying for as this semester goes on. I still have 2 tests, 2 presentations, 2 photo assignments, art sketches, a critique, the study for the girl I am discipling, and preparing for next weeks tests in the next few days alone. But i am aware of the situation I am in and need to keep at it. A friend of mine actually complemented me the other day as I walked her to my car about my ability to know what I need to do and doing it. It was nice to know people can see my heart and how much I yearn to stay in the land I love here in Tempe. Funny...two years ago I would've never dreamed those words would come from my mouth! I love the way God works...sometimes i wish he'd give me a sneak peak at the future though!

Here is a photo of Katy in my amazing cowboy hat missionary Bob gave me, DJ, myself, Heather, and Sara Bedient. Mexico really was a good time to just relax and get to know the freshman girls better!

every fork has its day

i would just like the world to know, this is the end result of the Goliath fork. But alas, the hot glue was too much for my poor skin to handle, so Nurse Katy came to the aide. I guess Dr. Garcia doesn't make out of state calls. But my finger is bandaged and hope of pain decreasing is at last here.

Did i mention there are only 3 more days to San Felipe? I think i can sleep well tonight.

wisdom is knowing what time it is...ecc. 3

I haven't posted on the blog in a while becasue i am so confussed and wondering i don't know what to do right now.

Psalm 27:14 says, "Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."

I love how God gets the fact that we don't get it. The first and last thing in this verse is to wait on the LORD. We tend to like the being strong part and the taking heart but the waiting...not so much. And yet God has to put it in one verse twice! Just as he talked to Moses about freeing his people, God reminds Moses the staff is in his hand. God constantly tells me, i'm here, right here. I'm accesable for you and want to work through things and future plans with you. Just relax.

But it's hard to do when you are left waiting.

I'm tired of giving things up to God and then pulling the little kid routine pulling on his pant leg asking him to let me in on His plans. I wish the whole waiting thing were easier.

I have built a monster...

9 feet and 10 inches. The fork structure is finished. I bought 7 cans of spray paint so my weekend will be spent transporting the beast across campus to the paint booth before the final photo shoot. Not quite as large as Golaith but i will still call the fork by that name!

Myers-Briggs. INFP

Based on the answers you submitted, the program has determined your personality type. It is important to confirm these results using the buttons below the picture. INFP.
I - Introversion
N - Intuition
F - Feeling
P - Perception

General Description:INFPs value harmony and want their work, friends and home to reflect this value. INFPs are quiet and adaptable. They will not easily share their inner self (or their sense of humour) with others unless they have built a trusting relationship with them. INFPs are creative and complex so they get bored quickly by routine jobs. Career Insights:INFPs need to believe in their work; they need their work to reflect their values of harmony, unity and friendship. Their careers often reflect their ability to improve other people's lives through verbal skills. They work best when they have the freedom to respond creatively to the needs of the moment for short periods of time. The type of careers that honour these traits include fine arts, counselling, writing, teaching (art, music and drama), library work and entertainment.

attempting to figure things out...

James 1:2-6 --Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

So i've always enjoyed the book of James. My New Testament professor was always eager to remind us that it is 'an epistle of straw!', but that doesn't mean i agree with him. I'm at this point in life where I am asking God for something and I just have to keep the faith and believe it is all going to work out. That's a hard thing to do. I feel like i keep giving up my burden to God and telling him to take it away but as He does I am pulling on his pant leg like a little child asking him to let me in on what His will is for my life and what my future holds. This isn't who at faith is supposed to look like. But it's hard to just let God work as we blindly follow. But i keep trying to remind myself that 'the Christian life is like driving at night. you can only see as far as the headlights reach but you can make the entire trip that way.' And we still do have directions. God has given us His word to instruct us and teach us. To encourage us and remind us of His promises. That doesn't mean life will be easy. It doesn't mean everything is going to work it out as I want. But it means i'm safe. I'm accepted. I'm loved and cared for. I know He knows what's best for me but I have to trust in that knowledge and believe, truly believe, that if He wants me to remain at ASU next year i'll be here and there is nothing i can do to stop that. I pray that is His will.